How To Be A Confident Queen w The Socialista

Meet Mon, the confident social media expert who has danced her way into your feeds - and hearts! 

 I chat to Monique Lombardo aka The Socialista about confidence, big ideas and why she never uses filters. 

If you’re a biz owner, it’s highly likely that you’ve experienced the dopamine hit that is Mon aka The Socialista. All you have to do is scroll through your Instagram feed and you’ll find her confident smiling face (probably wearing pink 💕 ) sharing expert advice on growing your online business, along with great tunes and super fun dance moves.

 It’s a sunny morning in Sydney and Mon has jumped from her previous Zoom into our interview Zoom meeting as we talk about how frantic and exhausted everyone is at the moment. “It’s really busy at the moment, but I’ve planned for September to be more of a chill, relaxed month because the rest of the year has been crazy. I’ve launched all the big things I needed to launch this year” she shares. 2022 has been an incredible year for Mon, as her business The Socialista turned the big 4 in August, she launched some amazing programs for clients and of course Mon and Mr Socialista got engaged in a beautiful proposal down on Sydney Harbour. 

 When she’s not creating inspiring and insightful content for her own platforms, you can catch Mon in one of her signature programs (Rise with Reels or Social Standout Squad) coaching biz owners on effective social media strategies, you can also find her out in the wild, crafting epic reels for her clients. Her instagram is FULL of testimonials and love letters to Mon and her programs where clients espouse incredible results (“locked in a $2k client just by using just one of the story strategies you taught me” or “sold out my program” and the list goes on).

Over the last four years, The Socialista has grown from a social media management business into a movement. Her 90k Instagram followers are treated to daily inspirational content sprinkled with Mon’s unique brand of confidence, expertise and fun. Confidence has been one of the most crucial ingredients in growing her business and continuing to attract clients. As The Socialista celebrates a $500k+ year in revenue, Mon explains “Confidence trickles into every part of our lives, if you go for a job you need to be confident, you want to do well in that job you need confidence. For me, confidence is linked to who you are, the knowledge that you can offer and how you serve others - and also being clear on where you’re going. The more knowledgeable you are about what you’re doing then the more confident you feel - like for me, I KNOW that I know my stuff. Confidence in yourself is important but also confidence to show up online is what impacts everything in your biz”.

 We need to show up online to grow our business, and we need confidence to show up online. More traditional signals of confidence like wealth, status or appearance have been disrupted by the social media world - making confidence more accessible than ever before. You don’t need the big flashy car or the huge house or the big job title to feel confident and get in front of tonnes of people, all you need is a phone and you can create an impact. “As long as you can show up online, show your face in stories and reels - you can build trust with your audience. They are going to trust you, they get to know you better and believe in what you’re doing. All that stands in your way is you. There's been an evolution in how we can be confident online because social media is a level playing field. It doesn’t matter who you are or where you come from. All you need is a phone and you can build a business and grow a brand. Confidence online is a catalyst for all of that” Mon explains.

 In a recent survey, only 3.4% of Australian women described their level of confidence as a 9 or a 10 out of 10. This lack of confidence is something that I see with my leadership clients as I coach them through imposter syndrome and fear or anxiety about managing others and feeling like they haven’t earned their roles or aren’t good at their jobs despite MOUNTAINS of evidence to the contrary. I asked Mon if she sees these similar trends with her social media clients and she shares “yes absolutely, my clients do struggle with confidence. They struggle with the confidence to jump onto their stories, scared about not knowing what to say. Lacking confidence in what they’re doing and feeling like imposters. Asking themselves why would people pay me for this.  

 We know how crucial confidence is to being successful, and we also know how many talented incredible women are out there running businesses that have the potential to grow and create positive change in our society. How do we smash through these barriers and build confidence that radiates through our phone screens so we can differentiate ourselves, create real connection with our following and grow our business? We take some lessons out of The Socialista’s book to find out…

Build your confidence by focusing on your PURPOSE.

“What is your purpose? Is your purpose to look good or is it to help other people get results?” Mon asks as we discuss some of the barriers that stop people from showing up online, things like not thinking they look good, or looking stupid if you fail in front of others, or worrying that someone may not like your real face without a filter.

 “Do you want to be liked? Or do you want to have an impact? You can’t focus on pleasing other people and being liked at the same time as delivering value and having an impact” Mon explains. Focus on what you do and how you serve others. “You need to be focusing on how you can serve others in a way that is real, and authentic. This is why I NEVER use filters on my content because when we use filters, we hinder our relationship with our audience by putting something fake between us and them. We hinder our self worth by subconsciously saying that we aren’t enough to just be ourselves. This is what chips away at our confidence, and makes us have thoughts like ‘oh I can’t do this without a filter’ and give ourselves excuses to not show up online” she says as we joke about never wanting to catfish anyone. 

 Key takeaway: instead of worrying about what you look like, be clear on what you’re doing, why you’re doing it and the impact you want to have on those you serve.

Build your confidence by looking after yourself.

“Confidence is a skill that you can grow and develop” Mon explains, and when I ask her what she does to continue to grow and nurture her confidence she gives me two solid gems that both relate to self care and being intune with what we need.

 💎 Create opportunities for meaningful energy exchange.

“I get energised by my clients, spending time with people who are achieving their goals, putting in the work and seeing the outcomes. When I see my clients succeeding it makes me SO happy but it also reinforces that I know what i’m doing - and I feel good about myself and my impact. I love having that energy exchange with others, that lights me up”.

 💎Fill your own cup up, giving yourself time and space when you need it.

“We are all working hard, we're all tired and snowed under. That’s why it’s important to take the time to ourselves when we need it. Like last night I had my fiance’s birthday and we had a beautiful dinner with friends. I wasn’t on stories or socials, I was completely offline and just enjoyed being present and being around people I love” Mon shares with a smile.

 Key takeaway: prioritise filling up your cup with positive energy from people who inspire you, reinforce confident self beliefs by seeing the impact you have on others and make time to be with loved ones. 

Bright Sparks

• An epic book: Big Magic: How to Live a Creative Life, and Let Go of Your Fear by Elizabeth Gilbert. The premise is that ideas flit between people, and I remember having so many amazing ideas and not acting on them - and then I see a year later someone else has done it. The book reminds me to act on my ideas, don’t waste time.
• A song that always gets me dancing: Head and Heart by Joel Corry. It’s my birthday song!! 
• A quote that always inspires: If not now, when. I love this because it reminds us to just do it, move forward.
• One of my favourite people to follow on IG: Martha from MAFS, for a true injection of authenticity. She recently announced she is pregnant and I loved her message of “you don’t have to enjoy pregnancy to be a good mother” as she struggles with HG.

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We ALL struggle with Imposter Syndrome - feeling like we're not a good leader, that people are going to figure out we don't belong or feeling like everyone else is smarter and more experienced. Just because you THINK it - doesn't mean it's ✨ true✨.

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